from the HillParson

From the Hillparson

There was a man who was every Sunday asked  by his neighbor to go golfing

with him.  Every Sunday he politely refused, and he  went off to his church.  One

week,  his neighbor stopped inviting him to go golfing.  He stopped really

speaking to him.  The man was confused, perplexed.  He had thought they were on

good terms.  He decided to talk to his neighbour and find out what was

bothering him.  “You used to invite me to go golfing  every week,” he said,

and then you stopped.  Why?”  “Well,” said his neighbor, “I’ve invited  you

regularly to do something that is meaningful to me, and you’ve always  refused.

Yet every week you go to  your church, and it’s obviously meaningful to you in

your life, yet you’ve never  invited me.”

 Faithfully and in faith, Rev. Chrisitne
I think the source you're looking for is in an essay in Essex Conversations written by Barry Andrews.
He quotes a survey done by Dr. Wade Clark Roof that says that the reason given by most folks for returning to church
 is for "the sake of the children" "The presence of young, school age children and feelings of parental responsibility for them drives [sic] boomers back to church to enroll their children in religious education classes." Barry's article is called Educating for faith and
the survey quote is found on page 2 of the book.

I remember someone quoting a study ten years or so ago that said something  to the effect of most people who go church 
shopping are looking for a good religious education program for their children.  The Olinda congregation has taken this
truth to heart and our Religious Education programme is growing.  Twenty one names of children who have come to services
at least a few times were listed in the holiday order of service.  Hooray!  Thought the following would be good information.  ceh

GRATITUDE CIRCLE

We've begun a new ritual around our dinner table in which each member of the

family takes a minute or two to name what he or she is grateful for. No

matter how yucky our day has been, we try to offer our gratitude in a spirit

of kindness and real thankfulness. Often, the ritual's nicest effect is to

calm the troops who may be feeling a bit rowdy or punchy. That's on a good

evening. Other times, well. . .

"Today," said I one evening, trying to model appropriate behavior (usually a

ludicrous pursuit), "I am thankful for the wonderful rain we had this

afternoon, which watered all the trees and grass and flowers so they can grow." 

"Today," said Daughter #1, "I am grateful for the rain and the trees and

The flowers. And I am grateful for Mom and Dad and Sister and Brother and Dog."

(A not-so-subtle attempt at ingratiating herself, as her sly smile implied,

but spoken with heartfelt emotion, nonetheless.) "Today," said Daughter #2,

"I am grateful for Mom and Dad and Brother and Dog." A smirk.

''What?'' Dad and Mom were stunned. ''What about your sister?" Daughter #1

immediately recognized the implications of Daughter #2's statement, which

pointedly left her out. She burst into tears and ran from the table.

We continue to work on gratitude circles at our house. Some of us find it

hard to be thankful when we would rather be angry. Sometimes even I (who

like to consider myself closer to perfect than many) would rather give my

husband a swift verbal kick than words of appreciation.

Yet, there is something sacred about our gratitude circles. Gratitude has a

healing power at our table that is more tangible than forgiveness or even

ice cream. We can't honestly nourish a grudge at the same time that we

nourish gratitude.

So we try. Daughter #1 came back to the table and we talked about

forgiveness as well as gratitude, and we wondered aloud about pain and

healing in words a child might be able to fathom.

And we grown-ups gave a silent sigh of gratitude for yet one more chance to

do our job again and go on.

Joan McDonald, Director of Lifespan Religious Education

Des Moines, Iowa




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