What happens if I keep them all?
The McCoons arrived unexpectedly last summer. I was seriously hoping to see the last of them by fall,
but they're still attached to the family like limpets. The vet said they were probably born with encephalitis
and that is why they aren't quite normal. I've been watching (green with jealousy) while the mother raised them
from itty bitty growling bits of fur to fairly well mannered yearlings, and thought
I'd pass some tips on to you if you are insane enough to keep an entire litter of coons.
First, be advised, that sibling coons raised together are never as affectionate to the surrogate parents as a
single orphan coon is. The siblings bond and rely on each other emotionally and need their surrogate parents less.
On the plus side, they aren't as demanding as a single orphan. They're content to spend long hours alone playing
with each other. That said, this is what I've observed.
The mother hand feeds the McCoons their protein to this day. This seems to reinforce the idea that she is their "mother"
in their dim little brains. If you've ever watched baby coons interacting with their mother, you'll notice that
mama doesn't take any "shit" from them. The McCoons are amazingly obedient where our surrogate mother is concerned.
They come when called, do not bicker when being fed, and actually desist from a behavior when the mother says
"that's enough". It seems fairly easy to train them because if you can get one to do what you wish, the others
follow automatically just like good little copy coons. Treats are liberally dispensed when the desired action
is completed. Be careful, though, that you don't reward them for bad behavior.
Pick your fights and buy a shop vac. If your coons want to climb doorjams, let them. It's harmless.
If, however, they want to climb your custom made draperies, tell them "no". Keep the "no's" to as few as possible,
or they'll begin to think of you as the enemy. If there is any room you absolutely don't want them in, the kitchen for
instance, put in a pocket door if there is no door, and keep it locked. This avoids unnecessary contention.
If your coons decide, like ours, to be fireplace ornaments, allow it. Remove the previous decorations and let
them be the new ones. Again, it's a harmless behavior. Place carpeted cat trees throughout the house and next
to tall bookcases. Coons need to climb. It's better they climb the tree to gain access to the top of the bookcase
than to climb the bookcase itself. Keep all treasured books out of the bookcase for the first two years.
The bookcase will be routinely emptied. Get yourself a daily housekeeper if you can afford it.
After all, you'd get a nanny for human infants, wouldn't you?
Have a sense of humor where your sibling coons are concerned. They will get into more trouble than you
can ever imagine. Ours have gotten into the cold air ducts twice, and into the ceilings on more than one occasion.
And this is in a house where the parents have spent years coon-proofing it. When one gets an idea, the others help
him implement it. They are busy chipping paint off one wall as we speak. The hanging plants have become fun places
to relax; at least until plant and coon crashes to the floor. Most of all, enjoy them.
